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A Fox Has Been Pissing In The Bureau Of Meteorology’s Rain Gauge

The weather is a fickle beast, to be sure.

Tim Bailey can point to a map of Australia and tell us there’s going to be drips and drops on rooftops and crops, sure, but there’s a reason meteorology is regarded as “the only job where you get paid to be wrong every day.” Because, to be frank, no one really knows what the fuck that low-pressure cumulonimbus is going to do, or when the rains are actually gonna be ‘ere.

Image: Channel Ten

Indeed, even the Bureau of Meteorology, the veritable gold stamp of semi-accurate weather information, has now had its credibility soiled, after a data-collector in Western Australia discovered that a strange yellowy liquid was skewing his data.

“I went out to check the rain because we record for the Bureau of Meteorology and, about six weeks ago, there was about 0.4mm in it,” said Tom Murray, a true-blue Aussie farmer from Dalyup, near Esperance, who’s been measuring BoM’s rain gauges for some 40 years. “I didn’t think we’d had quite that much, so I looked a little bit closer and it actually had a little bit of colour in it, so I got a bit suspicious.”

Old Tom’s “winemaking background came to the fore”, and he stuck his schnoz in the gauge to get a good whiff of the stuff. His sophisticated conclusion? Piss. Definitely piss. “Decidedly foxy” piss, if he’s not mistaken.

Of course, this is a fairly serious allegation to throw the way of the friendly neighbourhood fox, whom up until this point has never actually been caught draining his main vein into Murray’s rain gauge. It’s one thing to sniff some piss-coloured water and point the finger – another thing entirely to back it up with evidence.

And so, with the assistance of ABC Rural, Murray set up a motion-activated night vision camera to try and catch the cheeky little fucker yellow-handed. What he saw, after two consecutive nights spent filming the rain gauge in question, was largely inconclusive.

“They’re noted for their cunning aren’t they?” Murray pointed out after reviewing some of the footage. “I reckon he did it from a distance.

Categories: Breaking (news)
Gavin Butler: