YFH Chews: Beach Burrito

Photos by Joel McDonald and Erin Cook.

We love everything about Mexican. We like drinking more tequila than we should and we like eating more quesadillas than we remember, and those two pastimes are generally done in that very order. Needless to say, when we heard Beach Burrito was opening up a store in Fortitude Valley, just three doors down from our office, we accepted the fact many-a-lunchtimes would be spent shoveling spicy and delicious cuisine down our gullets. Beach Burrito is a pretense free, laid-back eatery that serves up the best Mexican we’ve ever chowed down on in Australia. They accompany this amazing food with enthusiastic staff that thrive on a mentality that culture is everything, because feeling comfortable and at home is just as important as enjoying the food these days.

Last night we decided to office-trip our way to Beach Burrito and slaughter our way through the menu. We can comfortably say that the combination of delicious food, awesome alcohol and superb staff makes it one of the most enjoyable places to eat in Brisbane. We drunk too much, because that’s essential, though we had the best time we’ve had in a long time. Here’s what went down.

6:21pm – Arrive. Ronnie, who’s a total legend and plays in a rad band called The City Shakeup, greets us as we walk in. We opt for a seat outside, next to a palm tree. A fucking palm tree. Immediately, the staff agree that somehow, via some kind of black magic, Beach Burrito have managed to make you feel like you’re in the most remote of locations, right in the centre of Fortitude Valley.

6:30pm – A round of El Diablo frozen margaritas arrive at the table. With a pink tinge and a perfect amount of spice, they jolt everyone’s metabolism into action. So. Many. Smiles.

6:45pm – One more round means we can stay later. We opt for some of the amazing beers on offer. All are delicious, and it’s refreshing to see an extensive list of authentic Mexican offerings.

7:00pm – The table is filled with chilli fries that come out no more than ten minutes after we ordered. Chilli fries fucking everywhere. We gnaw into the delicious and generous portions like ravenous people who lack homes to go back to. They’re amazing, but we’re told by friends at tables close by that the Jalapeño poppers are the best things under the sun. We’ll be back to try them soon.

7:30pm – More drinks. A round of tequila margaritas go down a treat. They lack the punch of the El Diablo, so they’re a perfect match for our slightly spicy mouths after those chilli fries (can’t stop talking about them).

8:00pm – We’re doused in a serving of their signature seasoned beef salads. They’re served in an awesome, crispy shell and are so big they’d satisfy the hungriest of humans. Not as spicy as the previous round of chilli fries (there we go again), they’re the perfect accompaniment to another cold beer. I guess that makes round three.

8:28pm – Time for mains. Out come the chipotle chimichangas, which are essentially deep fried burritos. If you’re unfamiliar, I know it might sound like we’ve fashioned up this false food from some sort of decedent fantasy land, but these things are real. They’re served steaming hot with huge portions of guacamole, sour cream, salad and corn chips, which makes them a ridiculously perfect main course, not to mention a hangover cure and a surefire way to up your cholesterol count. Alas, when things taste this good, nothing else really matters. Everyone agrees they’re outstanding, and it’s unanimous that not a single staff member has ever had a better one in their life. Not even our Mexican intern.

9:15pm – We can barely move, having been stuffed to the brim with outstanding Mexican. Alas, the friendly staff sell us on a generous serving of Churros, which are served with whipped cream and amazing chocolate sauce. We devour them, even though our stomachs have absolutely no place to put any more food. They’re washed down with another round of drinks.

9:45pm – It’s time to leave, but we park ourselves at the bar for awhile and talk with Sam, the super friendly bartender. We throw banter back and forth and end up with Patron shots in our hand and Sangrita chasers beaming up at us; a perfect end to an awesome evening.

10:04pm – Collapse into bed.

The beauty of Beach Burrito is in the packaging; everything is done perfectly and looks exactly how it sounds. There’s not a single element of pretentiousness, and the fact everyone feels completely comfortable is one of the best elements of the amazing venue. It is, by far, the best Mexican we’ve ever had in Brisbane. On top of that, every single little element of the place made us want to go back, which is why the moment I finish typing this last sentence, I’m going to wander on down and throw back a burrito.

Muchas gracias, Beach Burrito.

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