Photos by Erin Cook
In an office that thrives on music, we spend a large portion of our time participating in audio-warfare with one another. Shooting bass-driven pellets of sound from one cubical to another plays as an integral part of our day-to-day duties as actually doing work, and we are by no means ashamed of that. Many have tried and failed to reign supreme in this musical-battleground, and it wasn’t until one recent development that a true dominator actually came to light. When a lucky intern named James got his grubby little mitts on the UE Boom, he put silence to the inferior machines that sat atop our once proud desks.
The arrival of a futuristic canister late one Friday afternoon had each of us confused as the next; packaging that look like NASA had dropped us something from space had us all gathering around like inquisitive twelve-year-old on their first day of school. The simplicity of what was inside was equally as astounding as what was to come: one, simple, cylindrical 360-degree speaker, relatively small in size but with substantial weight, that housed only two-ports and absolutely no requirement for any wiring. It was the coolest, most advanced Bluetooth powered speaker we’d ever seen, and after mere-moments we had it up and running, blasting Lorde through the office and racking up noise complaints faster than Dune Rats on a Friday night.
Not only that, but this little bad boy is splash proof and stain proof (so all the spilt beer in the world won’t make it look dirty), shock resistant and extremely mobile, so when we decided to make it our wingman for Friday nights activities, it handled everything we threw at it and more. On top of all that, a staggering 15 hour battery life meant that it had more get-up-and-go in it than half of our crew put together.
It joined us on the walk to the closest bottle shop near the office then to our friends house. During this walk, we may have been throwing it around on the streets of the valley, we may have dropped it, we can neither confirm nor deny, though we are 100% sure it is totally shockproof. Rhys can’t catch for shit either. Well before close of business we found ourselves at our friends, and the UE boom fit in perfectly with our afternoon and evening plans.
We hit the pool, with our insanely small esky overflowing with booze, and found our new friend a perfect accompaniment to relax with tunes by the water. Before the sun was even down, our drink supply had depleted, and the UE boom had been completely submersed in water. Lucy is incapable of midday drinking, and standing by the side of a pool, apparently.
Over the course of the night, the UE boom proved its resilience again and again. Ryan spilt beer on it during a game of 4-kings, Sarah knocked it off the table (twice) after a few too many Vodka sunrises, and Charlie even stepped on it thinking it was some kind of super-expensive plush toy (God knows what he was on). When we awoke the following morning, the UE Boom worked just as well as it had the night before, and after a quick charge it was ready to go for round two, well before any of us were. Recovery beers in tow, we were back lazing by the pool, and the UE Boom was more resilient in the midday heat than our hung over bodies could ever wish to be.
We’d never thought we could rave so much about a speaker, but the sociability of something as cool looking and so amazingly put together meant that after a few coffees and a solid hit of the new Ryan Hemsworth album, we bashed these words out faster than you can say ‘best speaker in the whole wide world’. Now the only problem is the fact multiple people, whether it be on tablets, phones, laptops or personal computers, can connect to the speaker at any given time, sequentially playing songs in a true audible battle royal; the war has only just begun.