The Friendzone Doesn’t Exist, Dickhead

The Friendzone is a mythical land, spawned from the minds of men who were born lacking the testicular mass needed to take a woman to bed. It’s a sad and lonely world: awkward pre-cum stains the sheets, soggy Kleenex tissues scatter the bedside tables and solitary early-morning cab rides become a regularity. The musty odour of year-old porn magazines permeates dimly-lit rooms as weary men idly mull over their involuntary pledge to long-term celibacy. The population of planet Friendzone often band together and share stories of lost female friends, lonesome nights and that time they almost hit a homer circa 2006. But this very land – a land of desolation and deprivation – is built upon a foundation of lies. Its pillars are stacked atop a completely fabricated premise, one designed to make the male race feel better about the times they swing and miss, all by blaming the deceiving antichrist known as women.

The foundation of this fucked-up zone is that any unrequited love felt by men means women have been conniving and manipulative. The ethos behind it implies that a female is doing wrong by maintaining a platonic friendship rather than a sexual one, especially if the male has done the unthinkable deed of actually being nice to her. So abhorrent is this natural disaster that the victim (played by a man who’s probably a virgin) always needs to share his story with the world; he needs to tell people far and wide just how sacrilegious this despicable female is. The telling of a Friendzone tale almost always includes a point in which the soppy excuse of a human claims that he was “led on” by the female. He’ll then further justify his role as a victim by reiterating how nice he was to her for the duration of their friendship. What this idiot doesn’t understand is that girls aren’t living, breathing poker machines that you keep putting happiness tokens into until sex falls out.

I have no idea how men contorted the game of love into a position where they can garner sympathy for being unsuccessful in receiving sex. The Friendzone is a place where blatant discrimination makes it easy for males to employ guilt on the female gender all because they made an intimate decision to refuse sexual consent. Sitting atop a discriminating pedestal built with the bricks of insensitivity and mortar of arrogance, these men look down their noses at a supposedly inferior sex. And the sad fact for women is that the refusal of little Stevie’s semen entrée can turn a mutually respectful friendship into a war-torn wasteland. It’s inherently sexist and inherently unfair to excommunicate girls for shunning sexual advancements, especially when the decision is no one’s but their own. It’s a futile attempt by males to create a culture so heavily biased toward blokes that the women of the world feel obliged to fuck them. I’m a man’s man, and even I’m embarrassed by shit like this.

So with that, it’s important to point out that not all guys live within this sorrowful shell of shitness. Some men remain open to the idea that, should a female not want their penis inside her vagina, it might have something to do with his own traits and genetics rather than hers. The general dude demographic is slowly adapting to this quirky and farfetched piece of logic, but plenty still refuse such outlandish claims. A hefty portion of the male populace continue to weep about that fucked-up thing called the Friendzone. So, what kind of modern day man finds solace under this misogynistic tarpaulin of lies? ‘Nice’ guys, apparently.

The fucking nice guy. You know, the sorry-for-himself bro who says things like, “Nice guys finish last.” He’ll sit around and explain, in a bitter and resentful tone, that his penchant for philanthropy makes women view him as undateable. More often than not, he’s the kind of egotistical dickhead who tells girls with boyfriends how well he’d treat them should they give him a chance. His air of arrogance penetrates everything except the lady garden of the female he’s madly in love with, and he truly believes he’s an undeserving victim of societal norms. According to these unlovable scholars, the ‘nice’ guys of the world are tossed into a lockable barrel of one-way love. The key is thrown into the ocean’s depths, and these modern martyrs are forced to jerk each other off – all because their unbelievable levels of kindness somehow make women unattainable. The she-devils of the world then go and have sex with men who treat them like absolute shit, because that’s what every women who has ever walked the face of the earth has done. Because all women are the same.

The whole fiasco is entirely the nice guy’s fault. By baking her poppyseed muffins and bringing her chai lattés in bed after movie-night sleepovers, he’s plunged himself into a box he can’t escape. He’s become a completely non-sexual entity to her – like her brother, or a lamp – yet he refuses to admit his faults. As the Friendzone mentality allows him to shun accountability and put all blame on the woman, he continues to share the tale that criminalises the female. He announces the tragedy to his friends before spending every ounce of spare time whining about how she wouldn’t put her mouth around his unused, rotting penis. Disgruntled at the fact he “wasted” six months being polite to his former friend, he begins to force his mates to resent a girl who’s done absolutely nothing wrong. He goes to sleep each night positive his undeviating kindness deserved a dive in his girly friend’s pool, convinced not being a jerk is the sole requirement for entry. At the risk of sounding harsh, the nice guy is Beta as fuck, and it’s his own damn fault.

So, before all you soft-serve ‘nice’ guys lament your place in the fictional penalty box of dating, perhaps it’s time to acknowledge you’re solely responsible for putting yourself in there. It’s time to understand that this systemic problem is a monster of your own creation, and only you can fix it. So pull some testosterone out of wherever the hell all that ‘kindness’ is coming from and find yourself a girl to take home to Mum. In the meantime, quit using the term Friendzone: it’s fucking stupid. Don’t be part of a mentality that gives guys a chance to vilify women who say no, especially when society already vilifies ‘sluts’ who say yes.

——–

Sammy Attwood is the founder of Your Friends House. He enjoys eating breakfast at cheap restaurants and is incapable of using his Twitter. You can follow him on Instagram though: @sammy_attwood.

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crayven says:

Wow the autho9r sounds like a neuter mangina O.o
Can he get even more misandric?

Super Lous says:

So according to the author, (who seems like a white-knight feminazi sympathizer) men are obligated to stay friends with women they have genuine feelings for and stay in a creepy, awkward, 1-sided friendship while their bottled-up emotions and feelings tear them apart from the inside out. It’s the nice thing to do, right? He also thinks that men who use the term “friend zone” to simply describe the situation should have their dicks cut off. If you’re a MAN, it goes like this: If you like a woman, you man up and tell/show her how you feel. If she rejects you, asks for friendship and wants to pretend that your feelings don’t exist, you respect her choice while cutting her off from your life so that you can give another woman a chance. Pussies/neckbeards/wimps, as the author described, will agree to the friendship, knowing that they won’t get any farther with any girl. Friendship never works between someone you have feelings for. Period.

Steve Jones says:

This article is a joke.
Women LOVE violent men.
If MOST women wanted kind, non-violent men, then that’s what MOST men would become – OVERNIGHT.

The ‘friendzone’ is just another expression of women’s hatred of decent, kind, caring men. I would say that at least 80%, and probably 90%, of the attractive women I see with men, are with violent, miserable scumbags. Women are terrified of intimacy, contrary to what you’ve been told all your life, and this is why they are terrified of a loving relationship. To most women, ‘love’ means ‘he doesn’t love me, so I keep having to get him to love me’. That is a sick, masochistic vision of what ‘love’ means.

To put it even more bluntly: MOST women have got something deeply and disturbingly wrong with them. Otherwise the world wouldn’t be full of endless wars, crime, and the murder of 80 BILLION animals every year.

WOMEN are dating and marrying the millions of men who torture and kill animals every day – are those women looking for love? Of course not.

In ONE generation, women can genocide out of existence ALL of the kind and caring men in their society – just look at Afghanistan, for example. How do you think it came about that an entire country’s women are not allowed to leave the house without a man? Are all those men in Afghanistan really nice, caring men? Of course not – the nice, caring men were GENOCIDED out of existence by the stupid women who lived when the nice, caring men were still alive.

And can you change the fucking font colour on this comment form, it’s almost bloody invisible – idiots.

Yondy says:

As much as I want to agree with you, I am afraid that for some people the friend zone does exist. It is out there, just not as often as people make it seem. I guess it’s story time…

Many months ago I met this girl (let’s call her Liza) and I thought she was perfect in every way. She and I talked a lot and we shared many of the same interests. I tried not to rush into anything, so I kept my intentions a secret. We became very good friends. All that time I was totally star struck over her. I took her to the movies several times, I took her out to dinner, I took her out for ice cream, all that good stuff. She even went as far enough to invite me to celebrate her birthday with her family. I had gotten her a $40 necklace as a way to tell her that I was interested. At that point I didn’t know whether or not she was. After that I saw her wearing it almost all the time. Then one Friday night we went to see the Taken sequel (at her request) and after I took her to get ice cream. It had been a couple months at that point and I finally told her that I loved her. She was taken aback and asked if we could speak outside. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for that. She told me “Yondy, (not my real name) my last relationship didn’t end very well, and because of that I never talk to my ex anymore. I really don’t want that to happen to us, because I value our friendship too much.” I agreed with her of course. However, driving her home while fighting the tears back was one of the hardest things to do in my life. I was at a loss for words, I understood what she meant, but I “hated” her for making me feel like this. I hated myself for not making my intentions clear. I still respected her, and that didn’t make me love her any less. Was it my fault for saying i loved her? Was it her fault for not taking the hint? I have eventually decided that all of that was my fault. i never should have told her how i felt. I know some people might be thinking that i only wanted her for sex, but i know for a fact it wasn’t true. Whenever i looked at her, i realized that i could die a virgin as long as it was me who was buried beside her for the rest of eternity. I understand her wanting to be friends, and i am okay with that. I never complained or said anything negative about it. Now whenever i see her i am still filled with these emotions, but i feel guilty for still feeling this way. The worst part is, after that night I never saw her wear that necklace I got for her again.

Story over. I understand that this is probably the same story every man tells. But I firmly believe in unrequited love. The friend zone exists, just not too the extent people want you to believe. The friend zone is a temporary emotion where you are filled with love, anger, confusion, hatred, and sadness. People usually go through this after realizing that their love is unrequited. It disappears after a few days. But even though I still find myself longing for her love every day. Think what you ant about me, call me a misogynist. I probably am for all I know. I just wanted to get my story out there, and hopefully someone could give me advice.

shazza says:

“The worst part is, after that night I never saw her wear that necklace I got for her again.”
:(
Very sad. But too true. In this case it maybe sounds like she really didn’t realise you were into her. But then…
I am a woman, and as much as I hate to admit it, some of the rants here are true. Any woman who says she would never lead a guy on is full of shit. I am older and I would like to think wiser now, but back in my *cough* perky-tits, clear-skinned vivacious *cough* era I knew EXACTLY what I was doing. I knew when a “friend” wanted more than friendship. Still I would hang with them, message them, basically keep them on the hook. Then when they told me what they felt, of course I’d say “I just want to be friends.” The guy would be heartbroken, hurt. I would be lucky to maintain them as friends after that. It was purely an immature pursuit of an ego boost. Not all women do it to all men. But all women have done it at some point. Sometimes it’s deliberate, othertimes, we enjoy the male’s company so much that in the back of our minds we desperately hope “please don’t tell me about your feelings so we can live in this denial”. It happens. It’s life. It’s boy-girl politics and yes it usually can get complicated. I’ve since been married and separated. Realised I was a twatty little cunt most of my teen and early 20s.
But to give you a little hope, I recently told my best friend of four years I felt something other than friendship towards him. He said it’ll never happen. I said, I don’t care I just want to be your friend. So we stayed friends, kept hanging out… And then more happened :) But it does all come down to attraction – chemistry. You are truly friendzoned when a woman knows in herself that she just can’t see herself going “there” with you. Sure, if you get a girlfriend, she’ll get jealous, and look at you differently, but that’s not really a genuine affection for you and you’ll just end up fucked over.

c says:

good

loool says:

But I thought the internet was tiny and only had a few known people in it? You mean to say, there may be more than one person on the WHOLE INTERNET with the same view? Wow, mindfuck.

Not in the diner says:

I laughed, nodded, and clapped my way through this entire article. Was a pleasure to read mate.

9.5/10

... says:

You should probably stop clapping at your computer. Go outside.

Maverick says:

Great article! But a tad sexist.. it’s not just the men that try brown-nosing and fail with women.. goes the other way too

Jasper says:

The concluding sentence of this article resonates so much truth it’s mind blowing. Vilify if they say yes vilify if they say no; what a ridiculous world we have created!

Jane says:

Agreed. Such an amazing way to finish.

JM says:

Yep, best line.

eh says:

Yeah that line was awesome!
Fuck yes that line!
i just keep reading that line.
fuck this, i;m going to print this line.

JamalHawk says:

the debate intensifies… a man amongst men in this mystery we call life, Cosmo Kramer, would encourage one seeking romance to join in ‘the dance’ – engage in the timeless art of seduction.

Jess says:

THANK YOU. Amazing.

JJC says:

But I hear woman saying all men are the same….so why the fuck does it take them so long to choose one??

Reg says:

The friend zone does exist because I put women into it ALL the time.

Having been a DJ and party organiser for many years, I receive offers from countless women for sex – many have partners (trusting nice guy boyfriends/husbands) who think they’ve got “a nice girl”. I have run with it at times, had the rock n roll life to the max, but most times it has been too stressful. Mostly it horrifies me: A) I have standards and it’s not fun being hit on by so many unattractive people who don’t come anywhere near those standards – most of these women revolt me with their awful selfish personalities; B) I feel great empathy for the clueless male partners because I know and like them – I picture myself in their shoes; C) Overall I was hoping to find “a nice girl” that I could trust and settle down with again (having already been married).

A few times I thought I had found “the one” (a nice girl who has her head screwed on right) but they always turn out the same. The moment you give in to their emotional games and say that you love them, that you’ll be and do what they want, that you’re devoted to them and them only, that’s when they start to lose interest. You are no longer cool. Their eyes, hearts and minds then turn to go chasing other guys who haven’t noticed them or given in to them yet.

Similarly, when I am attached to a woman, so many women offer themselves to me. They do not care at all for or about me. They have no morals. They do not care about hurting a family or anything like that. They just want the object that another woman has. It’s quite sickening.

I grew up wanting to believe all the BS feminist tripe about how women want guys to be nice to them and in touch with their feminine side and so on. And that women would love us even more if we were that way. Truth is, they really don’t want that. Life shows this to you when bad things happen like illness, injury, people near you have a terminal illness and need you to care for them – I know so many cases where the guy does the right thing meanwhile the woman gets miffed and goes off cheating.

It seems that all they want is attention and social approval. They want to have the guy who is “cool” (like an in-season handbag or a pair of shoes). They want others to be jealous of them, to envy them. They want to feel “sexy” in that way. It’s really all about them. Total narcissism.

I’d say that most men (that I’ve known) are capable of truly loving women for who they are. We would even give our lives for them. We truly love them. But women would never even think of doing that for us. The closest women seem to get to feeling “love” for a man is if a man makes her feel good like a handbag or a trendy pair of shoes does. Mostly they just want to be seen in public with the “cool guy” and later on they want a man slave who will give up his life to earn money for her so she can laze around and maybe have babies, and/or have lovers, until she gets bored of him, decides to cash in (divorce) and find someone new to amuse her.

I’ve known tons of “lefty” (so-called progressive, enlightened) women and they’re all like this too.

I grew up as a man-hater as I was brainwashed by feminism. But now I know the truth.
Generally, men are mostly pretty nice people but with very little idea of how not-nice, how two-faced and treacherous most women truly are. But most of the social prejudice is against men; sexism; misandry. The above article is a clear example of that misandry- blaming men for feeling hurt by what many women like to do: leading guys on and playing with their hearts and hormones like a cat with a mouse.

On a plus side I’m bi so I’ve decided where to put my future priorities. And the sex is usually much better. I feel sorry for guys who are straight. I now understand many of my gay male friend who confide: “Actually I am also attracted to women, but it’s not worth the stress and drama they put you through; I choose to be gay.”

Wow. says:

How self indulgent of you to write this tripe.

CL_STRY_BR says:

FUCK, you’re a DJ? Holy dickballs that makes you cool. Man I would totally fuck you. You are amazing. I bet your parties are the sickest shit EVERRRRRR, RIGHT?!

You legitimately sound like the fucking embodiment of the word “douchebag”.

Do you DJ? says:

Do you even mix?

H says:

Ahhhh shit. I have been friend zoned by every women and Brisbane and just slept with my best friend who fucked everything up!!!!

So this is true. And the friend zone can last 4 years and you CAN STILL FUCK them.

So this analyses is competely fucking true.

Also…sluts are nice

B3N says:

Please post more articles that are easier to masturbate to. I got there in the end but fuck, hard yakka with this one. thanks

hari says:

seriously? some women are just fucked.. proven fact

Lol says:

As are some men.

Nah says:

Fuck nah, blokes rule

DoYouEvenLift says:

“By baking her poppyseed muffins and bringing her chai lattés [sic - there is no accent in the word "latte"] in bed after movie-night sleepovers, he’s plunged himself into a box he can’t escape.”

Aka the Friend Zone.

When trying to prove that something doesn’t exist, you might want to not prove that it exists.

d says:

^^ My initial thoughts too. You can’t say something doesn’t exist, then go on giving examples of how it exists… well-written, just misinformed.

R says:

So much so!

Hurrr says:

[sic - now I'm gonna explain exactly what part of that word was incorrect for all the plebs out there]

You actually had a valid point but, Jesus Christ, you’re a douche.

DoYouEvenLift says:

Hey I don’t make the rules. You should be glad that I’m nice enough to correct her. You wouldn’t want to live your life not knowing the correct spelling of latte would you?

TonyToniTone says:

Sooo, let me get this straight. This article endorses the saying: “Treat em mean, keep em keen”?

Mark T says:

not bad – it’s not really that big of a deal either way.

I think at the end of the day friend zone or whatever reason she has, it just doesn’t matter. If she doesn’t want to then cool. Move on… which is probably what most guys don’t get… I think they get attached to an idea which is fanciful and unrealistic to what is really happening… her being not interested.

ChuckD says:

No one buys porn magazines anymore btw.

R says:

‘The Friendzone’ is 100% horseshit. I have been living with, working with and dating my best friend for just over a year now and I’ve never been happier. He one day plucked up the courage and TOLD me how he felt and it honestly paid off.
We’ve all got to remember that this issue works both ways. Guys need to stop using their ‘niceness’ as an excuse for general laziness. If you like a girl, fucking pluck up the courage and tell her how you feel, we’re not mind-readers and sometimes just oblivious to how you feel. Sure it might not work out, but at least you KNOW. Stop sitting around licking your imaginary wounds over something you haven’t given a thorough crack at.
Girls, grow up. There are more to men then how they look and what car they drive. You don’t have to date a ‘douchebag’ if you don’t want to, so stop complaining that they’re aren’t any nice guys out there when you’re not out to date ‘nice guys’ in the first place. If you pursue guys that aren’t interested in being in a relationship and just aren’t that interested in you then that’s exactly what you’re going to get. Take it from someone that’s done the whole ‘date the uber rich douchebag’ thing, it’s fucking overrated.

Lucas says:

I agree with many aspects of the article particularly the opening sentence. However instead of simply making some accurate observations about the friendzone phenomenon, the author has insisted on making it about the word ‘friendzone’ and how it is vilifying women etc. etc.

I don’t think the term friendzone is offensive at all. By most It is used in good humour, and is a perfectly descriptive term for what happens when one person wants to be with another person romantically but the other one does not, so the person settles for a friendship in the faint hope that it will lead to something more.

And, it’s not just guys->girls, it’s the opposite too, not to mention same sex relationships.

Although I agree with the author on most points, they need to get off their high horse about a harmless word. And for anyone going to say ‘but it’s really offensive’ or ‘it perpetuates x or y stereotype’…shut up. You are being overly PC and wasting your time on something that is simply a handy, descriptive, and often amusing slang term.

For what its worth when someone says ‘I’ve been friendzoned’ if anything I’m inclined to think less of the person being friendzoned rather than the person doing the ‘zoning.

Taylor Smith says:

Word Lucas; my sentiment exactly.

Kassie says:

So eloquently written. Great topic too. And if I know anything about YFH, it’s that you guys would be loving all these people hating on you for this! Big ups from NYC.

aJestingWhim says:

Perhaps the friendzone doesn’t exist, but I believe it does.
As a generalisation (OH MY GOD NOT AGAIN) girls tend to lead guys on, as many of friends have been, then say “I just wanna be friends” THIS IS THE FRIENDZONE
BUT, this is probably because the girl doesn’t find him attractive anymore, or he’s really shit in bed! So if this is the case, woman should fucking say what they mean!
Don’t accuse the male gender of being the bad guys here when they can’t control if they’re attractive or not, or if they’ve never had sex. The poor guys are trying their hardest and always get their hopes up :(

J says:

Fucking loved this piece. The only sad thing that plagues YFH is the intelligence of the majority of readers. Had this been published on a site with a higher median age, you wouldn’t have a comments section filled with poorly devised rebuttals by 17-year-old kids who’ve got a little too much time to kill. Sadly, had you written a piece about how feminism was bullshit, all the above males would have revelled in your intelligent wake.
-
Keep doing what you’re doing. Everyone on this site is brilliant.

Taylor Smith says:

*slow clap*

How about this J character who is clearly smarter than everyone else?
Maybe if I act like I’m better than everyone else, I too can be a cool guy like J.

Ryan says:

I actually have to agree with J. Some of the comments in this thread are nauseating.

A says:

Ryan’s got it all right!

Bloke says:

I Hope a chimpanzee rips off your dick

Mickey says:

Every article I’ve ever read on this subject focuses far too much on sex, this article makes it out like the dudes who get rejected are butt-hurt simply because the girl they’ve focused their attention on doesn’t want to fuck them. The reality is far more likely to be that they’re upset due to a far more emotional reason because of the rejection and find it difficult to continue the friendship due to said rejection. Besides… when you go out looking for a one night stand do you put time and effort into building a strong relationship with a person you care about? or do you simply find the first scrag that will do and not even bother learning her name. Think about it, if it was simply about sex and nothing else then why would they be playing the long game. This dude needs to get off his alpha male fucking pedestal and put himself in someone else’s shoes for a change.

AlphaMale says:

This is pretty cutting edge stuff. Next time you should write an article on other hot topics like how racist people are misinformed and ignorant or on how elitist hipsters feign a deep knowledge of music when in truth they are really vapid posers. Maybe even a cutting contemporary commentary on the hypocrisy of Supreme?

Lando says:

I don’t think beta faggots are limited to the friendzone. You have some good points but all I’ve mostly read is a rant about how only losers use the term. I could do the same about people who use the word “fuck” because they think it’s clever and adds emphasis. Further more you’re completely targeting a particular kind of person which would be a small minority that use it as an excuse. The friendzone does exist and it does not just apply to inferior men and if you think that you are an Alpha you should know that.

Dan says:

Being in the “friend zone” is AWESOME. You can flirt and get away with outrageous shit. Sexual banter is easy because you’re “friends” and is casual and low pressure for both, but can be built up quickly if you’ve established that sexual tone. Flirty edge is essential. Don’t be sulky. Enjoy hanging around girls, silly.

Ryan says:

Couldn’t agree more mate. Especially the last sentence.

HR says:

This guy’s a winner.

Aaron says:

That dude is right, this is pretty sexist implying all men are the same and you did miss the point. Friend-zoned is where two people spend a lot of time together and they do things that people would do when they are interested in each other then one of them pulls away and acts like they’re just friends… It’s not just a guy thing and a term that guys give to girls that won’t put out…

Marlous says:

“then one of them pulls away and acts like they’re just friends”

You nailed it right there. This is the line of thinking that underlines and emphasises exactly what the author is trying to point out.

In the situation you describe, the activities are those that FRIENDS would do together. Except that one of them starts thinking that these activities mean that there’s more going on just because, y’know, it’s a guy and a girl… and they start to see more into the (otherwise platonic) relationship than actually exists. And then when the other person notices the shift, they make it clear that it’s only friendship and nothing but friendship – and they want it to stay that way, and then they all of a sudden it’s him/her who “pulls away and acts like they’re just friends”? Wait, what?

It’s this ignorance and skewed way of looking at things that is the whole reason for this article to be written. Thanks for giving a case in point.

JM says:

I’m so glad people like you exist.

Seannon McLeoud says:

And you know, i would agree with you on almost every point you make here, but what if the activities they are doing together aren’t “just friend” activities? i am sorry, but someone i am “just friends” with i won’t offer to give a massage to, i won’t sit with them and just chat with while she does her nails, If we go out for pizza and a movie, and i end up paying, that’s not a “Just Friends” move (at least not unless something was squared away before hand where she pays for the next one, or pays you back). If you and a member of the opposite gender spend more of your time doing things that most normal people would consider being “on a date” then when you get told “we’re just friends” congratulations, the friendzone suddenly exists. I believe the phrase “why can’t i find a guy just like you to date” is the most painful thing a single guy can hear, honestly, cause to most guys, that just means “yeah, you are a great guy, and i admire everything about you, and i would date someone just like you, i just won’t date YOU” and THAT is what the friendzone is in my mind, it’s being a guy available and exactly what the girl in question is looking for, but the girl ignoring you, because while you have been trying to build up a relationship, and trying to show your worth as a partner, you have been effectively written off, because she wants someone like you, not you.

Tara says:

While you were choosing to do all these things, which you say “most normal people would consider being on a date”, did you ever consider doing something else most normal people also do, and actually ask her on a date? It seems more like you were trying to manoeuvre her into dating you, without actually getting her consent first. You were “trying to build up a relationship” with someone, without considering if that was what she wanted too. That’s pretty presumptuous and manipulative. You were just friends, and trying to subtly push someone into an unwanted relationship doesn’t change that. I understand you’re hurt but we hear too much about how much this hurts the guy, and very little about how the girl feels when she realizes she’s being pushed into a situation she doesn’t want to be in, and when she discovers that someone who she thought was her friend, was only using her friendship as a means to an end.
Maybe next time, be upfront about what you’re looking for. If she wants the same thing, then great! And at least you both know you’re on the same page.

noodle says:

brilliant. Unless you’re a virgin, you know girls who you wouldn’t consider fucking. Why wouldn’t girls feel the same way about you?

Taylor Smith says:

mmmyeah I dunno.

I think you’ve missed the point in suggesting that people who get friendzoned are ‘egotistical dickheads’.

I’ve fallen into the ‘friendzone’ many a time, and I’ve never blamed the woman; I’ve always put it down to my lack of game.

The chaps who don’t get frienszone are the dudes who have great game. These dudes, more often then not are the ones who become egotistical dickheads because of their success with women (rather than failure).

I agree the ‘friendzone’ doesn’t actually exist; it’s just an excuse for not being what the woman wanted in a sexual partner. But vilifying dudes in the sorrowful position of unrequited love; and picking on the neckbeards sad enough to go online in search of sympathy for their failure to achieve success with women is well, unfair.

And ‘KA’ this was an honest article, -he- had an opinion and he went for it; this isn’t a scientific site, it’s an entertainment site. Protip: if you want to get a point about across, butthurt diatribes will never cut it.

John says:

nailed it

Lily says:

A unique yet utterly relatable topic, executed with satirical wit and intelligent humour. Seeing you grow as a writer is a pleasure, well done.

Nippleclit says:

Sammy’s Mum, or third-grade teacher?

Not in the diner says:

This^

K,A says:

Eh, typical read. from another person who naively thinks he is substantially more down to earth and educated than the majority of Australian males. Over the past few weeks i have read several terrible “articles” centralized around these apparent gender dramas. I can only assume that these pieces are written by angry girls, who are mad at their ex boyfriends or loser blokes, who think they are outrageously more insightful and in touch with their feminine side than the rest of the male population. I assume the point of these articles was to “ELIMINATE THE LIES AND STEREOTYPES” but in fact these articles continue to paint the same bullshit lie and generalization. – ALL MEN ARE STUPID AND INSENSITIVE APART FROM THE FUCKWITS WRITING THESE TERRIBLE THINGS, and ALL WOMEN ARE SMART, STRONG FEMINISTS WITH SOLID BELIEFS AND ARE COMPLETELY SICK OF MEN AND THEIR SHIT…i get this approach if majority of your target audience is angry lesbians but i assume it isn’t. basically i am sick of reading these ignorant pieces which don’t represent men, or females at all. A good number of guys don’t have southern cross tattoos, drink vaginal backwash and blame females for all their life dramas, additionally a good number of girls are fuckoff slutty retards and couldn’t understand the concept of feminism if it was rammed in their cunts. What happened to honest writers? because all i seem to read is the same regurgitated bullshit, generally produced by a sarcastic and un-funny fuckwit attempting to appeal to his sarcastic fuckwit mates. I find some great articles on this site but perhaps writers should steer away from generalizing an entire gender and commenting on something as broad and complicated as these issues when there life experience is limited to judging people walking around their uni campus.

Not A Uni Student says:

Writes a novel about how petty it is of the author to make generalisations, then makes generalisations about the author. Such a powerful way to solidify your stupidity.

h says:

ahahahahhaha FUCKING TOLD NIGUUUH

Teal-Rose says:

Actually he didnt generalize the author, but rather stated his opinion based on the writers he has experienced. Also a generalization states that there are people in that group who do not meet that generalization, i do believe you meant stereotype, of which, again, he did not use as he spoke only of the writers he has experienced and drawn an educated conclusion about.

Perhaps next time you should read a touch more intently (not trying to be rude, i swear) so that you dont fall victim to the same thing you did here. Good luck!

this guy says:

shut up nerd

Mel says:

You’re an idiot.

Charlotte says:

MAYBE THIS IS AN HONEST WRITER MAYBE JUST MAYBE THEY HAVE AN OPINION THAT IS HONESTLY DIFFERENT FROM YOURS YOU IDIOT

oskar schindler says:

props to K,A telling it as it is

the author thinks they’re the coolest

H says:

K,a…..I have a few words. Maybe you should put your words into a photo and sext me…so I can fuck the hate out of you…or…have a bong. And go to bed. You stressed out, silly female. Kind regards. Big h.

H says:

All women are smart?

Like 5% of women I know are “smart” you must be a dumb slut?

But.... says:

additionally a good number of girls are fuckoff slutty retards and couldn’t understand the concept of feminism if it was rammed in their cunts?

YOU'RE A CUNT says:

YOU NEED A DICK. YOU SUCK.

YOU'RE A CUNT says:

Southern cross tattoos are the shit by the way. I rep it on my mud flaps cuuunntttt

h says:

fuckkkkkk offff “You’re a Cunt”

do you even lift cunt. I bet you’re lifting right now! ehhhh

K.A needs a fucking root and bski ASAP NIGGUH

anonymous says:

Well written, im starting to wonder what people think the definition of friendzone is.
Heres a recent event that happened to me, i believe i was frienzoned, because i cant think of any other term for it.

I met a girl out of my league at work, but i used my charm and wit to learn alot about her, jumped through a couple hoops she instinctively put up, and got her to go on a date with me, the first one was moderately successful, but too short, she was rather reserved too, still, she agreed to go on another date with me, a much longer all day and late night one, she even “tested” me to find out if she could trust me and i passed it apparently, she seemed to be more into me and we bonded much better, at no point was i a “friend” or pussyfooting around, flirting and trying to woo her was my strategy, and it was working until nighttime when we met up with a friend of hers, who unintentionally cockblocked me (it was looking like i was going to get some, said friend seemed really impressed by me and was pratically trying to force the girl to date me, a mistake on her part it seems). A few days after i got her to agree for a third date, and, i met her at our workplace a couple times after, possibly i came across too strong, but everything seemed fine. 1 day before the date she called me and basically said while she has had alot of fun going out with me, she doesnt know if she feels THAT way about me and basically wanted to be friends.

We still went on date number 3, but she wouldnt let me compliment her and such things as i was getting away with before, we still had fun, but all i’ve ever gotten at the end of the date is a simple kiss on the cheek. She still wants to keep hanging out too, so this, in my eyes, is the friendzone. Tell me how im wrong please.

She wants to take it SLOW. Learning to fully trust someone takes time.

Kim says:

No, that isn’t the so-called “friendszone”. She just isn’t attracted to you, and that’s something you can’t force. No matter how nice you are to her, if she doesn’t feel that special spark it’s not going to happen. And you can’t blame her for that.

HeyGrrrl says:

“jumped through a couple of hoops she instinctively put up”? See, this woman had no interest in dating you, and you ignored what she wanted, because it wasn’t what you wanted. So then, after a few dates, she told you again that she didn’t want to date you, and you are now surprised about it.

Shiv says:

Complains about sexism in the article, proceeds to be sexist and slut-shaming

Dylan says:

You must have baked too many poppyseed muffins in your time mate

AH says:

Yep, no need to slander people for the opinion ‘KA’… There’s always two sides to any story, scientific or not. You must agree that their opinion is valid (at least), before disagreeing with your own opinion…

Josh says:

Fucking brilliant, could send this article to at least a dozen people I have the misfortune of knowing.

alex says:

LOL