Conspiracy theories are brilliant. They often combine intense organic propaganda with a discernible trait, whether it be racism, sexist values, communism or collectivism. This article is purely to get you thinking not just about theories but where they come from. What in the world would make someone think people are reptiles or KFC is run by the KKK is well beyond me, but never the less it is enjoyable to read. I guess I was amused to begin with, but the more I read the more I became disgusted and disappointed in humans for acting in such an extremist manner. Before we go on, I ask that you exercise mental intelligence and therefore recognise that any ridiculous views or racist assumptions are a result of the naivety and stupidity of the people I’m bringing your attention to.

01. Yo Gabba Gabba is a TV show created by Jews to brainwash children into Judaism! RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIVES! Ok, well, I don’t completely buy it, but this is just one of the many excessive conspiracy theories I’ve come across in my short time browsing the forever-debatable topic. It’s probably some comedic hoax, but the below video surfaced awhile back depicting underlying values in Yo Gabba Gabba that suggest it has a much more sinister and ulterior motive. As ridiculous as it sounds, it doesn’t take much of a browse to realise just how many people watched this and went, ‘Holy shit, my kids are not watching that horrible show ever again!’. It’s sad that a race as superior as ours can be fooled so easy, but it’s blatantly obvious in this medium.

02. Powerful people are alien reptiles!! Moving on from children’s shows, if you scour the planet for any reasonable amount of time you’re likely to talk to someone who believes the world is run by 6 ft tall reptiles. As if religion isn’t exotic enough, followers of onetime BBC reporter David Icke believe that certain powerful people — like George W. Bush and the British royals — actually belong to an alien race of shape-shifting lizard-people. Icke claims Princess Diana confirmed this to one of her close friends; other lizard theories (there are several) point to reptilian themes in ancient mythology. Who am I to judge right? This all seems a little bit much, but hey, next time I see the Queen I might try feed her a rat.

03. The KKK inject anti-hormones into KFC chicken. This one is a personal favorite. Apparently, in KFC chicken there is ingredients to make man of negro decent infertile, put in there by the KKK. Sociologists call this decades-old urban legend a cultural echo of the very real syphilis study carried out on black males in Tuskegee, Alabama. In another version, KFC is the culprit — and secretly run by the KKK. Ironically, the KFC franchise was actually run by an African American in 2010, so it’s hard to believe something like this would be going on under his nose. The more I think about it, I’ve always been a tad suss on the old Colonel. He seems too happy all the time, mass distributing his greasy ass chicken to families all around the globe. Either way, its hard not to laugh at a theory such as this one. Conceptually, it’s brilliant, almost as if a comedian had made it up.

04. Windings font and terrorism plans go hand in hand! As seen in the picture below, the text for significant letters relating to 9/11 correlates pretty accurately with what seems like the scenario itself. The key claim is based upon the fact that entering Q33 NY in the Wingdings font reveals a combination of symbols that reflect the 2001 attack on the Twin Towers. Secondary to this claim, it is said that a verse in the Quran predicts US involvement in Iraq and that “eleven” is a number with special significance to 9/11. In reality, this is probably a super insane coincidence unless you conclude that the 9/11 attacks have been in planning since 1990 (the year Wingdings font was curated).